Idioms

artandimagesbykimfreeimageoftheday.blogspot.com

“A burned child dreads the fire.” “Once bitten, twice shy.” We’ve  grown up hearing these sayings.  To protect ourselves, we quickly learn to fear and  avoid what  hurts. In the case of touching hot stoves or otherwise putting ourselves in a harmful position, the advice is sound. Unfortunately though, most of us don’t stop there. We’ve been victimized as children, so we withdraw. We’ve been hurt in love, so we don’t open ourselves up completely again. We’ve been disappointed, so we learn to settle. It’s only natural, upon being hurt, that we withdraw from the pain. However, withdrawing from what hurt us is only part of the equation. We must then have time to heal. So often we withdraw, but don’t heal. Sometimes we even stop withdrawing, we learn to cope by  denying  the pain or illness and press on.

ayesidoo.tumblr.com

Pain has a purpose. It teaches us what hurts us. However, what ends up happening to most of us that we  define our lives by it. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. ” we say. We are determined to keep a closer watch on the world for those that would take advantage, those that would hurt. Our past tells us what evil looks like, and how to avoid it.  We can see then that unfortunately in coping this way we paint ourselves into a corner. By identifying what is bad from what has hurt us, we keep ourselves back in the past, thinking and feeling and reacting as we did when we were first hurt in that particular way.  And unfortunately, with our pain as our primary guide, it’s very difficult to forgive or heal.

freerepublic.com

How do we get out? We change our view. Instead of letting our pain tell us what is bad and should be avoided, we recognize it as a teacher that tells us where our thinking doesn’t match up with the truth. For example, I’ve long dealt with the issue of feeling inferior to others. When something happens that reinforces that feeling in the present, I now know I’m seeing an old fear, and old pain. Each time it happens, I have a chance to hear those feelings from my past, and see that they simply mirror my limited experience of my truth at that time. Pain doesn’t tell us who we are, what we can be, or what we can have–it only tells us where we’ve been.

datingfun.org

So why limit ourselves to what we have felt and feared?  2 Corinthians 3:17 reminds us “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” So, lets go out there get messy and make mistakes. For every time we get hurt, we get the chance to let another lie go., and for every time we fall, we get a chance to get up and start anew. Besides, you can’t make a cake without breaking a few eggs.

dailymail.co.uk

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.”– Leo F. Buscaglia

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”– C.S. Lewis

“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.”–Denis Waitley

“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”– Aristotle